1 00:00:06,040 --> 00:00:08,709 And up next, Barb's Big Ups! 2 00:00:08,809 --> 00:00:12,446 A big up to Lewis for his neck tattoo. 3 00:00:12,546 --> 00:00:14,415 -(murmuring) -A big up 4 00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:18,052 to this branch for cutting our processing time in half. 5 00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,821 And a huge big ups to Colette 6 00:00:20,921 --> 00:00:22,890 for helping a centenarian 7 00:00:22,990 --> 00:00:24,525 -renew his license. -Oh! 8 00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,527 Wait, a man-horse? 9 00:00:26,627 --> 00:00:27,695 Those aren't real. 10 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,363 That's a centaur, you dodo. 11 00:00:29,463 --> 00:00:31,865 Centenarian is someone that lives till they're 100. 12 00:00:31,999 --> 00:00:34,034 I had no idea Walter was that old. 13 00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:35,369 Although he did use a lot of words 14 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,870 we're not allowed to use anymore. 15 00:00:36,970 --> 00:00:40,508 Lucky for us, he shared the key to his longevity. 16 00:00:40,574 --> 00:00:43,177 I'm more interested in the key to short-gevity. 17 00:00:43,244 --> 00:00:45,513 Every day, he does the sitting-rising test, 18 00:00:45,579 --> 00:00:47,215 where he makes sure that he can stand up 19 00:00:47,348 --> 00:00:50,784 from a cross-legged position without using his hands. 20 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:52,753 -(murmuring, chuckling) -Right? 21 00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:54,588 -BARB: Focus, people! -I can totally do that. 22 00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,590 -(murmuring) -Two weeks till the consultants choose 23 00:00:56,724 --> 00:00:57,958 which branch to close. 24 00:00:58,058 --> 00:00:59,193 People! 25 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,829 We cannot be distracted by a silly test. 26 00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,331 That I'm dying to try. 27 00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,599 -Clear the room! -(chattering) 28 00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:07,135 -Yeah, yeah. Let's do it. -(squeals) 29 00:01:09,370 --> 00:01:10,504 GREGG: Uh, Barb, 30 00:01:10,571 --> 00:01:12,240 -I-I'll pass. -Good idea, Greggles. 31 00:01:12,340 --> 00:01:14,542 You've already reached longevity. 32 00:01:15,376 --> 00:01:17,411 -Arriba. -(whoops) 33 00:01:17,511 --> 00:01:18,846 (excited chatter) 34 00:01:18,946 --> 00:01:20,080 -Stop it. -(chuckling) 35 00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:21,914 I was almost up. 36 00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,619 Aw! This dang boot, you guys! 37 00:01:25,719 --> 00:01:26,920 HOT KRISTEN: Come on, Barb. 38 00:01:27,020 --> 00:01:28,356 You've got this. Just... 39 00:01:28,456 --> 00:01:29,457 engage your core. 40 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,890 (groaning) 41 00:01:30,991 --> 00:01:32,793 -(groans) English muffin! -(employees exclaiming) 42 00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:34,527 Everybody has a core, right? 43 00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,197 That's a rug burn. 44 00:01:36,964 --> 00:01:38,166 COLETTE: That's fine. 45 00:01:39,633 --> 00:01:43,637 So we agree? We're all at the same fitness level. 46 00:01:44,472 --> 00:01:45,606 Yeah. 47 00:01:45,739 --> 00:01:47,941 * 48 00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,045 (soft chatter) 49 00:01:54,348 --> 00:01:55,949 -(gasps) Hey, chica. -(groans) 50 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:57,485 I told you not to call me that. 51 00:01:57,585 --> 00:01:59,086 We're not there yet. 52 00:01:59,187 --> 00:02:01,289 This is exactly why I don't respond to your text messages. 53 00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:02,590 Fair. 54 00:02:02,656 --> 00:02:03,791 Anyways, I need a favor. 55 00:02:03,924 --> 00:02:05,393 -Absolutely. -From Gregg. 56 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:07,795 My Abuela Rosa's coming in today to take her driving test, 57 00:02:07,895 --> 00:02:09,029 and I need you to fail her. 58 00:02:09,128 --> 00:02:10,264 Uh, shouldn't be a problem. 59 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,466 As long as I'm in a mood. 60 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,067 And I'm always in a mood. 61 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,336 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What about me? 62 00:02:15,436 --> 00:02:17,371 Ceci, I always take the olds. 63 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:18,772 Remember this guy? 64 00:02:18,872 --> 00:02:20,941 You won him for passing a 100-year-old. 65 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:23,644 -Yeah. -No, no, she needs to fail. This is dangerous. 66 00:02:23,744 --> 00:02:25,746 She's never driven a day in her life and now, 67 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,481 all of a sudden, at 70, she wants to hit the open road? 68 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:28,482 No me digas. 69 00:02:28,616 --> 00:02:29,983 I can handle it. I got you. 70 00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,185 I'm your girl. 71 00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:32,353 I'll stick with Gregg. 72 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:33,987 He's closer to being my girl. 73 00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:36,890 W-Wow. 74 00:02:36,990 --> 00:02:37,825 Okay. 75 00:02:37,925 --> 00:02:38,926 Whatever. I'm gonna go 76 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,128 polish my trophy, which I won 77 00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:43,163 for being good at old people. 78 00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:45,766 Hey, thanks again, Gregg. 79 00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:47,335 And since you don't care about longevity, 80 00:02:47,435 --> 00:02:49,503 I won't feel as bad if she crashes and kills you. 81 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,004 Perfect. 82 00:02:51,103 --> 00:02:52,706 Okay, old man. 83 00:02:52,805 --> 00:02:54,007 Let's see how long you're gonna live 84 00:02:54,107 --> 00:02:57,010 with this stupid no-hands challenge. 85 00:03:01,649 --> 00:03:02,850 (exhales) 86 00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:04,285 (grunts) 87 00:03:04,352 --> 00:03:06,287 (grunts): Okay. 88 00:03:06,354 --> 00:03:07,388 (exhales) 89 00:03:07,488 --> 00:03:09,623 Not gonna quit until I do it. 90 00:03:09,690 --> 00:03:11,259 (grunts) 91 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,427 (grunts) Okay. 92 00:03:14,695 --> 00:03:16,730 Is that Barb's retainer? 93 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,733 Ugh. 94 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,335 -(cooing, chuckling) -Hello. 95 00:03:21,435 --> 00:03:22,836 I'm so glad you brought Gilbert 96 00:03:22,936 --> 00:03:24,572 -back to the office, Vic. -Yeah. 97 00:03:24,672 --> 00:03:25,906 He almost makes you likable. 98 00:03:26,006 --> 00:03:28,709 -Yes, you do. -What is all the hubbub? 99 00:03:29,377 --> 00:03:30,911 Did someone bring their pet into work today? 100 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,045 (whimpers) 101 00:03:32,179 --> 00:03:33,914 -Uh... -Because I'm loving it! 102 00:03:34,014 --> 00:03:35,182 -(chuckling) -Hey, mister. 103 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:36,317 -(barks) -(yelps) Oh! 104 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,218 -Oh. -(snarling) 105 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,787 Whoa. Chillax. 106 00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:42,390 Gilbert. Um-- Sorry, Barb, I don't know what's going on. 107 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:43,724 -He's just joking. (chuckles) -(snarling continues) 108 00:03:43,857 --> 00:03:45,125 He's just joking. 109 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,727 We give each other grief, you know? (chuckles) 110 00:03:46,827 --> 00:03:47,761 We joke like that. 111 00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:48,728 (growling) 112 00:03:48,862 --> 00:03:50,331 (clears throat) 113 00:03:50,430 --> 00:03:52,232 -Oh, my gosh, you really like her. -Yes, sir. 114 00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,534 Yeah. 115 00:03:53,601 --> 00:03:55,636 Uh, Jerem...y? 116 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:57,137 JEREMY: Yeah, that's me. 117 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,440 Sorry. (chuckles) 118 00:03:59,573 --> 00:04:01,208 Uh, Señora Rodríguez? 119 00:04:01,309 --> 00:04:02,743 -Sí. -Oh! 120 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:03,944 I'm Colette. 121 00:04:04,044 --> 00:04:05,579 I'm a friend of your granddaughter's. 122 00:04:05,679 --> 00:04:06,780 Well, almost. 123 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:08,115 Uh, little backstory-- 124 00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,083 we are the office will-they-won't-they 125 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:11,352 of friendship. 126 00:04:11,452 --> 00:04:12,520 Okay. 127 00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:13,621 -Yeah. -Yeah. 128 00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:14,922 Let's go, let's go. 129 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,189 Come on. 130 00:04:16,255 --> 00:04:18,759 Yeah, yeah. Hurry. Thank you. 131 00:04:18,892 --> 00:04:20,461 (grunting loudly) 132 00:04:20,594 --> 00:04:22,596 -Hey, Gregg. -Noa. 133 00:04:22,696 --> 00:04:25,366 Are you trying to do the no-hands challenge? 134 00:04:25,433 --> 00:04:26,900 No, I just-- I dropped my pen. 135 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,336 -That's why I'm down here. -Oh. 136 00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,137 This one right next to you. 137 00:04:30,237 --> 00:04:31,339 Here you go. 138 00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:33,407 Can't someone just sit on the floor 139 00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:35,376 at work in peace? 140 00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:37,978 Okay. 141 00:04:38,078 --> 00:04:40,247 (grunting) 142 00:04:41,582 --> 00:04:44,552 Oh, God. We have these for a reason! 143 00:04:44,618 --> 00:04:47,287 Good news, people! We have found the source of the smell! 144 00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:49,323 Raccoon dead in the vents! 145 00:04:49,457 --> 00:04:51,058 Bad news-- we can't do anything about it. 146 00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:52,460 Sounds like a rough day. 147 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:55,128 -(Barb gasps) -Need me to tap in? 148 00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,598 NoHo... Beau. 149 00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,799 No Beau Ho. 150 00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:00,968 Beau, the manager from NoHo. 151 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,970 -What are you doing here? -Oh, hey, Barbara. 152 00:05:03,070 --> 00:05:04,738 I'm just registering my new boat. 153 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,440 Can't you do that at your branch? 154 00:05:06,540 --> 00:05:08,642 Mm-hmm. Since you asked, it's a catamaran. 155 00:05:08,742 --> 00:05:10,344 Which is technically two boats. 156 00:05:10,444 --> 00:05:11,845 And I was in the neighborhood. 157 00:05:11,945 --> 00:05:13,481 But I need those tags stat, 158 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,849 because I'm taking Dan and Kshitija on it this weekend. 159 00:05:15,983 --> 00:05:17,785 The DMV consultants? 160 00:05:17,885 --> 00:05:19,353 I thought they were only doing dinners 161 00:05:19,487 --> 00:05:20,621 with each branch manager. 162 00:05:20,721 --> 00:05:22,923 Oh, God. We had our dinner last night. 163 00:05:23,023 --> 00:05:25,693 Gangbusters. (chuckles softly) I laid out my vision 164 00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,695 for the future, had a little ceviche 165 00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,029 from this spot I recommended. 166 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:31,298 Did you ever taste leche de tigre? 167 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,366 Tiger's milk? 168 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,101 -Isn't that illegal? -What? 169 00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:36,504 No, it was, like, scallops or shrimp with lime juice and junk. 170 00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,306 But it was incredible. Or should I say "increíble"? 171 00:05:39,407 --> 00:05:41,542 -Oh. -(chuckles) That's Spanish for "yummy." 172 00:05:41,642 --> 00:05:43,611 Heard you have your dinner tonight. 173 00:05:43,711 --> 00:05:44,745 I do. 174 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:45,879 Aw, I guess they're still doing it 175 00:05:45,979 --> 00:05:47,280 as, like, a little parting gift. 176 00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:49,783 We all know which branch they'll be closing. 177 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,485 Here's a hint-- we're standing in it 178 00:05:51,585 --> 00:05:53,353 and it smells like dead raccoon. 179 00:05:54,254 --> 00:05:57,190 -Oh! Who's this tiny gentleman? -Careful. 180 00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:58,325 He-he doesn't like people. 181 00:05:58,426 --> 00:05:59,860 (giggling): Oh! 182 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:01,294 Oh! He does like people! 183 00:06:01,395 --> 00:06:03,296 He likes good managers. 184 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,065 Oh, who loves kisses? (chuckles) 185 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:07,167 Beau loves doggy kisses. 186 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:08,702 Gilbert's got to go. 187 00:06:08,802 --> 00:06:11,004 -Effective immediately. -What? 188 00:06:11,071 --> 00:06:13,006 I just got off the phone with corporate. 189 00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,509 And, man, this really splits my uprights, 190 00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:18,378 but they just banned canines from the workplace. 191 00:06:18,479 --> 00:06:19,880 That's doggist. 192 00:06:19,980 --> 00:06:20,914 I know. 193 00:06:21,014 --> 00:06:22,382 My hands are tied. 194 00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,552 Wait. 195 00:06:24,652 --> 00:06:26,153 Does this have anything to do with the fact 196 00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:27,821 that Gilbert doesn't like you? 197 00:06:27,921 --> 00:06:29,823 (chuckles): What? What? No. 198 00:06:29,923 --> 00:06:31,058 Seems pretty convenient 199 00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,226 that Big Sac changed their policy 200 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,328 on the same day that I brought Gilbert in. 201 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,297 Plus, everyone knows 202 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:40,167 you stress eat when you lie. 203 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:41,268 What? 204 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,736 No, I don't. 205 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:44,905 So you normally eat an avocado like it's an apple? 206 00:06:45,038 --> 00:06:47,541 The nutrients are in the skin, Vic. 207 00:06:47,641 --> 00:06:50,778 Looks like Gregg isn't your only girl, 208 00:06:50,878 --> 00:06:52,412 'cause, uh-- mission accomplished-- 209 00:06:52,513 --> 00:06:54,548 abuela fail-a. 210 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,883 No need to thank me. 211 00:06:55,949 --> 00:06:58,619 You were right. She's a terrible driver. 212 00:06:58,752 --> 00:06:59,920 But I stood strong, 213 00:07:00,053 --> 00:07:01,689 even when she turned on the waterworks... 214 00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,257 That's not my abuela. 215 00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:07,961 Oh. 216 00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:13,400 I don't get it. 217 00:07:13,501 --> 00:07:16,136 She said her name was Señora Rodríguez. 218 00:07:16,236 --> 00:07:17,404 (sighs) 219 00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:18,839 Who in here's last name is Rodríguez?! 220 00:07:18,939 --> 00:07:20,608 -Sí, aquí. -That's me. 221 00:07:20,741 --> 00:07:22,409 No, no, relax. I'm not calling on you guys. 222 00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:23,644 I'm just proving a point. 223 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,378 Okay, I need to go find Gregg. 224 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,147 My actual abuela's gonna get here any second. 225 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,449 Wait, but I-I just proved that I'm great 226 00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,118 at failing old Rodríguezes. 227 00:07:31,218 --> 00:07:33,420 Oh, yeah? You think you can be as harsh with my abuela? 228 00:07:33,521 --> 00:07:35,122 -Yeah. -She can't even get through a grocery store aisle 229 00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:36,957 without knocking things over with her cart. 230 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:39,292 She doesn't even shop anymore. She just buys whatever falls in. 231 00:07:39,392 --> 00:07:41,261 Look, if you're so concerned, come with me. 232 00:07:41,328 --> 00:07:44,397 Please just let me do this for you, Ceci. 233 00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:45,899 As a friend. 234 00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:50,571 Fine. It'll be a road test for the both of you. 235 00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:53,306 Awesome. I'm gonna destroy that old bag. 236 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,307 Too much. 237 00:07:54,407 --> 00:07:56,176 It was. Yeah. 238 00:07:58,078 --> 00:08:00,213 Oh! Whoa! 239 00:08:00,313 --> 00:08:01,214 (groans) 240 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:02,816 What a numpty. (chuckles) 241 00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:06,019 That's, uh, Kiwi slang for "idiot." (grunts) 242 00:08:06,854 --> 00:08:09,456 Anyway, I'll just gather these up 243 00:08:09,523 --> 00:08:11,324 and... pop up. 244 00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:13,193 You see, it's kind of like surfing. 245 00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:15,896 You just, like, fire the glutes. 246 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,364 Shwoop. Pop up. 247 00:08:17,464 --> 00:08:18,566 Oh, thank you, Noa. 248 00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,900 -Yeah. -Having you do it repeatedly 249 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,935 in front of me is extremely helpful 250 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:25,005 -and not making me think about my longevity at all. -I'm sorry. 251 00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:27,707 It's just that you're always taking me under your wing, 252 00:08:27,808 --> 00:08:29,276 and this is something that I can do for you. 253 00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,945 Yeah. But I helped you learn how to do your job 254 00:08:32,011 --> 00:08:33,647 and deal with family issues. 255 00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:35,849 You're teaching me how to stand up. 256 00:08:35,948 --> 00:08:36,850 -Yeah. -(sighs) 257 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,217 Mate, I'm here for you. 258 00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:40,988 Hey, what's the Kiwi slang for "get the hell out of here"? 259 00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:43,123 It's "haere atu." It's, um... 260 00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,191 Haere atu. 261 00:08:44,324 --> 00:08:45,392 Yes, that's good! 262 00:08:45,492 --> 00:08:46,594 Haere atu. 263 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:48,862 -I'll just go. Okay. -Yeah. 264 00:08:48,996 --> 00:08:50,163 Okay. 265 00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,235 Pop. 266 00:08:56,236 --> 00:08:57,370 Pop. 267 00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:00,808 -Beau Young. -Yes? 268 00:09:00,908 --> 00:09:01,909 -Mm-mm. -Oh. 269 00:09:02,042 --> 00:09:03,711 Decided to come to a real DMV 270 00:09:03,844 --> 00:09:05,278 to see how the studs do it? 271 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,380 Are you kidding? I've been here for two hours. 272 00:09:07,514 --> 00:09:09,683 To register my catamaran. 273 00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,051 W-- A catty? 274 00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:14,221 Two hulls to the skull? Dude, that is epic. 275 00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,188 You have no idea. 276 00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:16,657 This is me Titanic-ing. 277 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,391 -We do it all the time. -(chuckling) 278 00:09:18,491 --> 00:09:19,927 Gilbert's my Rose. 279 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,394 (chuckles) So, uh... 280 00:09:21,528 --> 00:09:22,963 (high-pitched): ...where you taking this little guy? 281 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:26,233 Barb put the kibosh on pets at the workplace. 282 00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,534 -Really? -Yeah. 283 00:09:27,601 --> 00:09:29,770 Barb doesn't want the dog in here, huh? 284 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:33,240 Well, you know, there is a workaround if you want. 285 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:35,375 You ever hear of an emotional support animal? 286 00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:37,745 There is this bird in the parking lot I talk to. 287 00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,079 Mm. Sure. 288 00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:40,848 All you need is a letter from a therapist. 289 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,650 And I got a guy who will write one for just about anything. 290 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:44,718 I once got out of jury duty 291 00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:46,720 thanks to something called "narcissism." 292 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,288 (chuckles) Can you believe it? 293 00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:50,423 Me? Beau Young? (chuckles) 294 00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,026 -This guy? (laughing) -(chuckling) 295 00:09:53,126 --> 00:09:55,462 -This guy? -Oh, man. 296 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:56,864 -That's perfect. -(chuckles) 297 00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,699 'Cause I definitely don't have any real issues. 298 00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,433 (weird baby voice): Ain't that right, Gilbert? 299 00:10:00,567 --> 00:10:01,702 Ain't that right, Gilbert? 300 00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:04,004 -Ah, no, I can see that. -(chuckling) 301 00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:09,309 Nice turn back there, Abuela Rosa. 302 00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:10,944 Nuh-uh. Just "Rosa." 303 00:10:11,044 --> 00:10:13,113 -She's not your grandma. -Fine. 304 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,514 How am I doing? 305 00:10:14,614 --> 00:10:16,116 I have to say, Rosa, you are 306 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:18,118 handling this big rig pretty well. 307 00:10:18,218 --> 00:10:20,253 I've been taking lessons for months. 308 00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:22,455 -Yeah. -Now that my last nieta's in college, 309 00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:25,358 Estefani-- oh, my God, she was a project-- 310 00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:26,894 it's time for my third act. 311 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,096 Maybe expand the radius of my Tinder 312 00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,164 to include Palm Springs. 313 00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,866 (quietly): Looks like you didn't have to be worried at all. 314 00:10:32,966 --> 00:10:34,501 She's actually a pretty good driver. 315 00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,369 Mm, I don't think she's ready. 316 00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,404 -No, she is. -Mm. 317 00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,806 Trust me. Yeah. 318 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:41,308 -Hey, Abuela. -Hmm? 319 00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,911 Did you know that Colette dated Cousin Miguel? 320 00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:45,679 -(stammers) Really? -Mm-hmm. 321 00:10:45,813 --> 00:10:47,047 He just bought a new townhouse. 322 00:10:47,147 --> 00:10:48,615 Eat-in kitchen. 323 00:10:48,682 --> 00:10:50,150 That doesn't matter to her. Because guess what. 324 00:10:50,250 --> 00:10:51,151 She dumped him. 325 00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:52,619 -¿Que qué? -Uh-huh. 326 00:10:52,686 --> 00:10:54,988 Uh, can we just focus on the road test? 327 00:10:55,088 --> 00:10:57,090 Just kicked him to the curb. And you want to know why? 328 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,158 Why? 329 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,292 Because he was too short. 330 00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,627 ¡Qué barbaridad! 331 00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:02,095 -And he's not short. -Mm-mm. 332 00:11:02,162 --> 00:11:04,364 He's concentrated, like the best orange juice. 333 00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:07,835 Right on Sunset, please. 334 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:09,202 Hey, Gregg! 335 00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,439 Uh, L.A. Dodgers' Yoshinobu Yamamoto is out here 336 00:11:12,505 --> 00:11:13,774 with a delicious bundt cake. 337 00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,642 Oh, what flavor? (groans loudly) 338 00:11:15,743 --> 00:11:17,077 My back just went out. 339 00:11:17,177 --> 00:11:18,678 -(groans) -Oh, no. 340 00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:20,580 Yamamoto's not out there, is he? 341 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:23,383 I'm so sorry, mate. That was a dirty trick. 342 00:11:23,483 --> 00:11:25,018 But you did almost stand up. 343 00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,253 What you're doing is pushing, 344 00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:28,521 but what you need to do is-is pop. 345 00:11:28,655 --> 00:11:30,190 Leave me alone. 346 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:33,426 But bring me a slice of that bundt cake, please. 347 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,096 Gregg, this is really not your day. 348 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,530 You can't stand 349 00:11:37,664 --> 00:11:39,132 and there's no bundt cake. 350 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,735 There is no bundt cake?! 351 00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,237 What the hell?! 352 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:48,308 Ugh, you're still here? 353 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,043 Of course I still am. 354 00:11:50,177 --> 00:11:52,813 And this place still smells like that dead raccoon. 355 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:54,314 I don't have time for this, Beau. 356 00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,749 A colleague of mine 357 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,250 is gonna bedazzle my boot for my dinner tonight 358 00:11:57,350 --> 00:12:01,154 at a little place called Paul Fleming Chang's. 359 00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,590 You're taking the consultants to P.F. Chang's? 360 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:06,159 It's the best Asian food in Los Angeles. 361 00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,895 I know it is. I'm Asian. 362 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,164 Barb, there's a new vest in town. 363 00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,365 Mmm! 364 00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,401 (grunts) That's right. 365 00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:16,069 -(snarling) -Gilbert is officially 366 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:17,404 an emotional support animal. 367 00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,539 Got a letter from a therapist and everything. 368 00:12:19,606 --> 00:12:22,242 (quietly): The dog's supposed to wear the vest, you idiot. 369 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,710 This one's for a husky. 370 00:12:23,811 --> 00:12:26,046 Oh. I thought it was just for men with bigger builds. 371 00:12:26,146 --> 00:12:27,580 Beau put you up to this? 372 00:12:27,714 --> 00:12:30,784 Well, I guess there's only one thing left for me to do. 373 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:35,188 And that's to, uh, welcome Gilbert back to the office. 374 00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,724 (groans) 375 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,793 Sons of Anarchy! Gilbert bit me! 376 00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:41,061 -No, he didn't. -(Gilbert whimpering) 377 00:12:41,128 --> 00:12:42,262 -BARB: Yowch. -VIC: Okay, then. 378 00:12:42,362 --> 00:12:43,130 -Let me see it. -Are you kidding? 379 00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,198 Lift my arm? 380 00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:46,733 It'll be Geyser Permanente. 381 00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,368 -(panting) -Well, you're in good hands, 382 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:50,503 because I happen to be a registered volunteer medic. 383 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,373 Yeah, well, you're a registered volunteer liar! 384 00:12:53,473 --> 00:12:55,475 Let me see the bite. In fact, we all want to see 385 00:12:55,608 --> 00:12:56,877 -the bite, don't we?! -Yeah. 386 00:12:56,977 --> 00:12:58,111 Oh...! 387 00:12:58,245 --> 00:12:59,847 Never you're touching me! 388 00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,114 (panting, hisses) 389 00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,816 Boo-yah! 390 00:13:04,317 --> 00:13:06,086 CECI: So, Colette, 391 00:13:06,153 --> 00:13:08,355 what were you, uh, thinking about getting your mom 392 00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,422 for Mother's Day? 393 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,824 I don't know. 394 00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:13,093 I'll listen for clues on our weekly phone call. 395 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,161 Hello? 396 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,829 You only call her once a week? 397 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:17,164 -Mm-hmm. -What does your poor mother do 398 00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:18,498 the rest of the time? 399 00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,067 File a missing persons report? 400 00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:22,002 (laughs) Good one, Abuela. 401 00:13:22,102 --> 00:13:23,837 (quietly): What the hell is going on? 402 00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:26,673 Are you trying to upset her so that she'll fail? 403 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,008 (scoffs) No. 404 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,509 No, no, no. Of course not. If anything, 405 00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,211 I'm trying to relax her. 406 00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,146 Mm-hmm. 407 00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,783 Hmm. Abuela, look! The Pope! 408 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:37,985 -¿¡Dónde?! ¿¡El Papa?! -Huh? 409 00:13:38,118 --> 00:13:39,887 -No, no! Look out! -Aah! 410 00:13:39,987 --> 00:13:41,889 (hissing) 411 00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:43,023 (sighs) 412 00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:46,726 Thankfully, none of the girls selling the cookies were hurt. 413 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,528 But the only right thing to do was to buy up 414 00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,829 all of their stock. 415 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,464 I think these are knockoffs. 416 00:13:51,531 --> 00:13:52,866 I mean, what the hell is a Thick Mint? 417 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,935 I'm sorry I couldn't pass you. 418 00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,704 A fender bender is an automatic failure. 419 00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,972 ROSA: It's okay. 420 00:13:59,072 --> 00:14:00,840 It's my fault for getting distracted. 421 00:14:00,974 --> 00:14:02,242 Yeah. 422 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,344 I'll-I'll wait for you to give me a ride home. 423 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:05,946 Okay. 424 00:14:06,046 --> 00:14:08,548 Looks like she's not getting behind the wheel anytime soon. 425 00:14:08,648 --> 00:14:10,150 (squeals) Gracias, chica. 426 00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:13,053 -You really are my girl. -(chuckles softly) 427 00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:16,189 -ROSA: Colette. -Yeah. 428 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:18,258 -I'll pray for you. -Oh. 429 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:20,060 Ayúdala a pararse derecha. 430 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,029 Thank you. 431 00:14:22,829 --> 00:14:24,364 She recommended a posture bra. 432 00:14:24,497 --> 00:14:25,933 I'm wearing one. 433 00:14:26,033 --> 00:14:27,867 Hmm. Hmm. 434 00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,136 (sighs) 435 00:14:33,506 --> 00:14:34,874 (sighs) 436 00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:36,476 Don't look at me like that. 437 00:14:36,576 --> 00:14:38,245 GREGG: Shh. 438 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:39,712 Down here. 439 00:14:39,812 --> 00:14:42,749 I-I think I may be going through something. 440 00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:44,217 -Ugh, boy. -(sighs) 441 00:14:44,317 --> 00:14:46,386 That makes two of us. Gregg... 442 00:14:47,154 --> 00:14:48,388 ...permission to vent? 443 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:49,322 Denied. 444 00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:51,925 I just failed Ceci's abuela, 445 00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:54,094 like she asked, but she was a... 446 00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,662 Rosa was a very good driver. 447 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:58,831 I'm starting to think that I don't have a spine. 448 00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,000 Me, either. 449 00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,935 I was so focused on being friends 450 00:15:02,069 --> 00:15:04,871 I forgot that being friends means 451 00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:06,839 being able to say when you're unhappy. 452 00:15:06,940 --> 00:15:08,208 I'm unhappy. 453 00:15:08,308 --> 00:15:10,277 I need to have an honest conversation with Ceci, 454 00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:11,711 but that terrifies me. 455 00:15:12,679 --> 00:15:15,348 Hey, could we do a role-play? Uh, you be me, I'll be Ceci. 456 00:15:15,448 --> 00:15:16,449 Please, no. 457 00:15:16,549 --> 00:15:18,118 (imitates Ceci): "Colette, hello? 458 00:15:18,251 --> 00:15:19,386 Just why?" 459 00:15:19,486 --> 00:15:20,553 That's it. 460 00:15:20,653 --> 00:15:22,422 Oh, my God! 461 00:15:22,522 --> 00:15:25,092 I did it. I stood up on my own. 462 00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,561 I'm gonna live long enough to hate old age. (chuckling) 463 00:15:29,329 --> 00:15:32,632 I just needed someone annoying enough to push me. 464 00:15:33,466 --> 00:15:36,303 Damn, Noa, it was more of a pop. 465 00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,437 He did it. 466 00:15:37,570 --> 00:15:40,507 That crazy son of a bitch did it. 467 00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,009 I can hear you, Noa. 468 00:15:42,109 --> 00:15:43,276 Ah. Yeah. 469 00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,683 Where's your little carpet sniffer? 470 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,752 Gilbert? He's taking a nap. 471 00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,787 But I came to apologize. 472 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:55,989 Really? 473 00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:57,957 Yeah, he bit you, and that's not okay. 474 00:15:58,058 --> 00:16:01,928 So the only responsible thing to do is to... 475 00:16:01,995 --> 00:16:03,630 put Gilbert down. 476 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,135 You're right. It's the right thing to do. 477 00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:09,636 Oh. Okay. 478 00:16:09,736 --> 00:16:12,139 Um, but j-just to be super clear, 479 00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,973 you know what "putting down" means, right? 480 00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,009 He was a good boy. 481 00:16:16,143 --> 00:16:17,310 And may he rest in power. 482 00:16:17,410 --> 00:16:20,247 I'm not gonna euthanize my son. 483 00:16:20,313 --> 00:16:21,414 (exhales) 484 00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:23,583 Why does Gilbert hate me? 485 00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:26,019 And why does he love Beau? 486 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:28,055 Why do you care so much? 487 00:16:28,155 --> 00:16:31,491 If I cannot get a tiny little dog to respect me, 488 00:16:31,624 --> 00:16:33,760 how can I get the consultants to? 489 00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:37,264 I see what this is. 490 00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:39,199 -(exhales) -Gilbert knows 491 00:16:39,299 --> 00:16:40,967 you're the alpha around here. 492 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,869 And as a fellow alpha, 493 00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:44,337 he's challenging you. 494 00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:47,340 You think that he sees me as an alpha? 495 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,342 I know he does. 496 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:51,111 This is your territory, Barb, 497 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,479 so you can't back down. 498 00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:54,013 You got to show them you're the big dog. 499 00:16:54,814 --> 00:16:57,817 I used to see it in the foster system all the time. 500 00:16:57,917 --> 00:17:00,720 But with weirdly more shedding. 501 00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:03,756 Ceci. 502 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,157 Hey, girl. 503 00:17:06,159 --> 00:17:08,694 I'm taking Rosa on another test. 504 00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:10,196 Whether you like it or not. 505 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:12,432 She worked her butt off for this moment. 506 00:17:12,531 --> 00:17:14,300 She deserved to pass. And she... 507 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,670 would have if you hadn't purposely messed her up. 508 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:20,839 She's a very good driver. 509 00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:22,642 I know. 510 00:17:22,742 --> 00:17:23,843 Oh. 511 00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,078 Okay. 512 00:17:25,877 --> 00:17:27,247 Is that it? I thought you were gonna make fun of 513 00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:28,648 my shoes or something. 514 00:17:30,583 --> 00:17:32,352 What's going on with you? 515 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:35,355 Honestly, I thought she was gonna bomb that test. 516 00:17:35,422 --> 00:17:38,558 And then when I realized she was gonna pass, it just... 517 00:17:39,559 --> 00:17:41,394 I just don't want to let her go. 518 00:17:41,528 --> 00:17:42,895 Oh. Ceci. 519 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,265 My whole life, she's just... 520 00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:47,234 She's been the one that I was closest to, you know? 521 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:49,602 My parents worked a bunch, but she was always there. 522 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,539 Even now, she's, like, my best friend. 523 00:17:52,605 --> 00:17:54,707 We go to the movies together, we get our nails done, 524 00:17:54,774 --> 00:17:57,910 we-we make fun of celebrities' botched plastic surgery. 525 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:00,580 Now, what, she wants to just... 526 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:02,382 go do her own thing? Like, 527 00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,016 -mm. -Doesn't she deserve that? 528 00:18:04,117 --> 00:18:06,085 What if she actually wants to move to Palm Springs 529 00:18:06,219 --> 00:18:08,054 after falling in love with one of those desert macho men 530 00:18:08,155 --> 00:18:09,356 or something? 531 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,491 Clearly, you've never been to Palm Springs. 532 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:15,395 I'm just not ready to let her spread her wings. 533 00:18:16,529 --> 00:18:17,597 You are. 534 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:22,169 Your abuela helped you and her other grandchildren grow strong, 535 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:25,104 and now her new project is herself. 536 00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:27,774 Fine. 537 00:18:27,874 --> 00:18:29,176 You can retest her. 538 00:18:30,076 --> 00:18:31,278 Thank you. 539 00:18:32,245 --> 00:18:34,447 And your shoes are tragic. 540 00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:36,483 They're good for my arches. 541 00:18:36,616 --> 00:18:38,251 Mm. They better be. 542 00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:41,788 Question-- should a catamaran actually be two boats? 543 00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,023 I figured out why you're here. 544 00:18:44,123 --> 00:18:45,225 To get in my head. 545 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,426 What? (scoffs) 546 00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:47,760 Don't flatter yourself. 547 00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,229 You're intimidated by me. 548 00:18:49,296 --> 00:18:50,797 Why else come all the way here 549 00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,532 to do something that would've taken you three seconds? 550 00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:55,202 -Hmm. -You act like you've already won, 551 00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,836 but, really, you're scared 552 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,938 'cause we're the better branch. 553 00:18:59,005 --> 00:19:00,207 And the big dog, 554 00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:03,176 the big dog's nipping at your heels! 555 00:19:03,310 --> 00:19:05,778 (barking loudly) 556 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:08,248 I'm the big dog! 557 00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:09,682 Jilloyce, 558 00:19:09,816 --> 00:19:11,484 help this man with his boat and send him on his way. 559 00:19:12,252 --> 00:19:13,720 Barb's branch. 560 00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:14,854 (exhales) 561 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,724 You haven't seen the last of me, Barbara! 562 00:19:19,025 --> 00:19:20,660 Oh, yeah, there's no boat. 563 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,997 Another question-- have you seen the latest edition of 10 and 2? 564 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:30,537 Colette said I didn't make one mistake, Cecilia María. 565 00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,339 Best test of the day. 566 00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,642 That's really great, Abuela. (sniffles) 567 00:19:35,708 --> 00:19:37,577 I got to-- I got to retake that last one. 568 00:19:37,677 --> 00:19:40,313 What's wrong? Is my lipstick too much? 569 00:19:40,413 --> 00:19:42,249 It's called Tropixxx, 570 00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:43,483 with three X's. 571 00:19:43,583 --> 00:19:45,184 Uh, no, no. I just got, like... 572 00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,086 An eyelash got stuck or something. 573 00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:49,722 Okay, one more shot. 574 00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:52,492 It's beautiful. 575 00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:53,793 Thank you, baby. 576 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,362 CECI: You actually look really hot. 577 00:19:55,462 --> 00:19:56,896 ROSA: Oh, thank you. 578 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:04,136 Don't worry, Dan. The Dynamite Shrimp is not made of dynamite. 579 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:06,172 (laughing) 580 00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,874 -Okay. -(phone rings) 581 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,743 Go for Berry. 582 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:13,980 Oh, hi, Dan. I was just heading out for our dinner. 583 00:20:14,847 --> 00:20:16,783 Oh. Food poisoning? 584 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,217 From ceviche, huh? 585 00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:20,553 (exhales sharply) You cannot trust raw fish. 586 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,556 It's like going skinny-dipping with snapping turtles. 587 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:27,494 Whoever recommended that really should not be running a DMV. 588 00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,996 Yeah, I can reschedule for tomorrow. 589 00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,030 Okay, then. 590 00:20:31,097 --> 00:20:32,265 Hydrate! 591 00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:37,570 Mr. Perfect gave the consultants food poisoning. 592 00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,806 We're coming for you, Beau Young. 593 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,676 Hasta ceviche, baby. 594 00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:44,611 (chuckles softly) 595 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:46,178 (Gilbert snarls, barks) 596 00:20:46,279 --> 00:20:47,480 Gilbert. 597 00:20:47,580 --> 00:20:49,516 -(growls) -You don't want any part of this. 598 00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,951 (whimpering) 599 00:20:56,756 --> 00:20:59,759 Captioning sponsored by CBS 600 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,529 and TOYOTA. 601 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:06,032 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org